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decided I didn t deserve the easy way out, either.
 You do deserve to live your life. That drunk driver took one innocent life, don t let him take
two.
For a while, we sat there in silence. Thoughts swarmed my head, it was so much I was starting
to feel overwhelmed. I had never told anyone that story. It was funny, saying those words out loud
was a relief. I know it s a cliché, but it actually felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I
knew Daniel would understand, and he did.
That s what made it so hard to argue against his points. He understood. Other people told me to
do things, but they didn t get my motivations. Daniel did, and yet he still was telling me that I was
doing the wrong thing. Was I? I began to really question myself. Was I completely wrong all this
time? Was I looking at things the wrong way? Should I be doing what I was doing, living my life in
the worst possible way? Was that really still the right thing to do?
I still couldn t get past the fact that no one would want a doctor that had killed their sister.
 What happens when someone finds out about me and Suzette? What happens when one of my
patients Googles me and finds out about it?
 Then you tell them that even though disaster befell you earlier in your life, you re now
dedicating your life to making sure no one else goes through what you did. Which would be true, by
the way.
 Yeah. I don t know. He was right. I couldn t argue against that. He was right, and I hated that
he was.
 Well, you don t need to make a decision now. You can always think about it. But Kylie, I
really think you should think about changing your life. I think you would be happy as a doctor. I ve
seen you with patients. Hell, I ve been one of them. You have a caring spirit, and it shouldn t go to
waste, especially not since you want to do it.
 I ll think about it. You re right. I m going to think about it. When are you leaving?
 A week Sunday. So, nine days from now.
 You know, I m glad. I m happy you re getting out of here. I want to see you win the Stanley
Cup next year. I ll watch it on TV.
 I ll send you tickets, you can come watch it in person.
I looked up at Daniel and kind of half smiled at him. It was all I could manage right now.
I flopped down on the ground and stared up into the leaves of the tree we were under, thinking
about things.
 Do you want me to go, leave you with your thoughts?
 No, I d like you to stay, if you don t mind. I like your presence.
 Cool, let me know if you want to talk about anything.
But I didn t. I just needed to think. I don t know how long I sat there for, lying down in the cool
summer grass, letting the breeze move over my face, Daniel only a few feet away. Eventually we got
up as the sun began to edge its way towards the horizon and went back into the building.
 What about your physio appointment?
 Whatever, one day of exercises isn t going to make or break me. It was more important to be
that I be with you this afternoon.
My heart swelled with appreciation as I realized what Daniel had done. He d skipped his
physiotherapy to be with me. I felt so... cared for, knowing that he did that for me.
I skipped dinner, instead going to my room and having a long shower. I had a lot to think about,
and I always thought showers were great for thinking. I let the water stream over me until at last the
water went cold.
When I went to bed that night, I had made my decision.
* * *
The first thing I did the next day was visit Doctor Emma and ask her whether she thought I was
in a good enough condition to be released.
 You re asking me a difficult question, Kylie. After all, you re not the most forthcoming of
patients. I really know so little about you, I m not certain that I m able to answer that.
 I m a very private person.
 I understand that. I know that you are dealing with things much deeper than most who are here,
and while I believe your alcoholism is most likely manageable in the outside world, I also know that
it was triggered by those memories the first time. If I were to tell you that you re alright to be
released, I want to know that you have someone to talk to. You need to have a support group,
otherwise the chances of a relapse are much higher.
 I have someone to talk to, I told her.  I do have someone who understands.
Doctor Emma looked at me hard, then nodded.
 Alright. I think that as long as you have that support network, you should be fine. Remember,
you can always come back here. I would also encourage you to attend AA meetings.
I nodded and thanked her as she handed me an information booklet, complete with a variety of
suggested support networks.
 I suppose you ll want to be released next Sunday? she asked, and the look on my face almost
certainly gave me away. I supposed it shouldn t have been that much of a surprise to me. Doctor
Emma was no idiot, and she had hinted that she knew about Daniel and I before.
 That would be good, thanks, I replied so quietly it came out almost as a whisper.
 Consider it done. I m sorry I wasn t able to connect with you as well as perhaps another
therapist may have.
I shook my head.  It s not your fault, Doctor Emma. I m just... not very trusting.
 Well, I m glad you ve found someone to trust.
 Me too.
I left her office feeling conflicted. A part of me was elated. I was actually going to leave! I was
going home! Another part of me still felt guilty about what I was doing. How dare I live the life that
Suzette wasn t going to?
When I saw Daniel later that night, he was elated for me.
 I m glad you re doing this, Kylie. I think it ll be good for you.
 Yeah, maybe. I dunno. I m a bit worried about it, to be honest. I really don t know how I m
going to adjust to life outside of here now. I never really thought about it until, well, yesterday.
 Don t worry, you ll be fine. You ve done it before. Where are you going to stay?
 With my parents, I guess. They ll be happy I m  cured . I m their only child now, the only one
they have left. They ll be happy that I m back.
 Do you want to stay with them?
I shrugged.
 I don t know. It wouldn t be too bad, I guess. I m just worried about moving back into my old
circles too quickly. I d like to find a place where I could just slowly ease back into my old life.
 Why don t you come stay with me? My place has four bedrooms. I m literally using one of
them as a storage and trophy room right now, I have that little need for the space. You d have a ton of
privacy, your own bedroom, of course. You re welcome to stay with me for as long as you d like. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]