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Eithlarin. It helped, but even by late afternoon of the next day, Zannesu was
still glassy-eyed and sluggish in his responses. Jindigar didn't want to
adjourn, leaving him like that, and didn't want to try the Dissolution until
Zannesu could work.
They were gathered in the Temple near the new, enlarged worldcircle, their
Dushau Outriders on guard outside the front entry. The Oliat formed up around
Jindigar in working array, silting cross-legged on the floor. Jindigar
surveyed his officers, clean and neatly bandaged, dressed in carefully patched
clothes. None of them were in much better shape than Zannesu. It was u good
thing, he reflected, that they had worked past exhaustion, considering the
forces they had stirred up among themselves, trying to save Eithlarin.
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There wasn't a trace of sexual energy left in any of them. Perhaps it would
leave them in peace until they'd Dissolved.
Jindigar put it to his Oliat. //My judgment is impaired.
I'm no longer fit to Center.// Jindigar glanced at Dar. The feeling of Dushaun
emanating from the worldcircle was strong enough to set off whole trains of
association for them both. It wouldn't take much to stir any of them again.
//But it seems to me that we'd best not delay any longer.//
Krinata objected. //The colony needs us. Isn't there some way we can at least
go and talk to the hive? I don't want to go out there to live with that
sitting on the doorstep and with the fever loose...//
Venlagar answered, //It isn't up to Jindigar and Darllanyu to deal with these
matters right now. It really isn't their responsibility nor Zannesu's, either.
That's a fact they're having a hard time facing too.//
//I can't face it,// announced Darllanyu, looking straight at Jindigar.
//Krinata's right. We should at least try to discover something to help.//
//I have made too many wrong decisions in the midst of operations. I don't
dare take you back into the field.//
Darllanyu turned to the worldcircle. //And do you call this a wrong
decision?//
//I didn't do this! It just happened. I didn't know it was even possible to
bring one world through another world's circle!//
//Listen to yourself,// argued Darllanyu. //You performed according to the
highest Aliom ideals you executed a "strike" acting and reacting perfectly.
You've worked three thousand years to develop that ability. Why should you be
surprised when it produces the very serendipity Aliom promises?//
Trinarvil passed her hand through the zone above the circle. //Dar, I don't
think he realizes what he's done. He hasn't suffered much, yet, from
dysattunement.//
//He may never now. Maybe no one will.// Darllanyu rose and stepped into the
circle, her form instantly enveloped in the shrouding whiteness.
Jindigar's breath caught in his throat, for despite the bandage slanted over
one side of her head, she was the image of the bride awaiting the marriage
trial. He almost didn't register Trinarvil's comment. //Maybe it's not a myth
that Dushaun was colonized.... Jindigar has discovered a way it could have
been done! He's brought through to Phanphihy that overtone which we think of
as Dushaun, but which is really from our planet of origin. I wonder if even
Threntisn's Archive has anything on that!//
Darllanyu moved out of the circle, and Jindigar released his breath. She came
and folded herself down before him. Her nearness sent a strange new kind of
quiver through him, and he knew, suddenly, that he'd taken a giant leap into
Renewal with the Eithlarin operation.
//Jindigar, I maligned you that night, before we tried for Eithlarin. You are
nothing less than an accomplished and dedicated Aliom Priest. No one else
could have done this. I trust you in the field or anywhere.//
//No, Dar, you were right. I've discovered that a lot of people I haven't been
listening to may have been right about me all along.// Like my father, for
example. Jindigar was acutely aware of Krinata. He had the linkages open
evenly, trying to rest their nerves. Krinata, sensing an intimacy in their
words, was feeling embarrassed, as if she were eavesdropping. //Zunre, I've
begun to have the kind of self-revelations that generally come beyond the
onset of Renewal. Dar's insights into the deeper truths about me are very
valuable to me. I want to spend this Renewal with her.//
//And I with him,// responded Dar formally, as if they had never made the
announcement before.
Their eyes met, and all the friction was gone between them. Perhaps they would
now settle easily into full Renewal. The promise made Jindigar eager enough to
have forgotten the precarious position of the colony. But Darllanyu finally
saw the change in him and pulled back, moving to the Formulator's position.
//But first we must discover what can be done about I he hive, Chinchee
doesn't stay anywhere very long. When he leaves, the colony will have no means
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whatever of talking to the hive. With communication there's a chance for an
alliance.//
//And it's up to us to find a way to communicate, // concluded Krinata,
//before we Dissolve.//
There was a set to her features and a hardness in her gaze that made Jindigar
feel she was about to challenge Center again. //You don't know what you're
saying, Krinata. You're talking about suicide group suicide. If we go on,
there'll be no hope for any of us to survive Dissolution.//
Very calmly Darllanyu questioned that. //How do you know we haven't passed
that point already?//
TEN
Historian's Method
Darllanyu gazed steadily at Krinata, illicit Center whose presence already
condemned at least some of them to Incompletion-death. The Formulator s dread
was so cold, it was a calm that spoke as loudly as the riotous sensuality her
condition broadcast through the links.
His mate's chill acceptance tapped a still quietude Jindigar hadn't known was [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]