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when I was into you, too. You just can t handle anyone flirting with you and gawking at you
for like five
seconds?
 No, I can! I handle it all the time! Peter retorted defensively.  Everyone I meet is like that,
and I
have to tolerate it!
 Oh, what a rough life! I scoffed.  You know, Jane isn t the only one that s vain and
egotistical. It
was Peter s turn to roll his eyes at me.  So you re saying that your curse in life is that
everyone in the whole
world finds you irresistible?
 If I say yes, I sound like an ass, but it s true! He rubbed his temple and shook his head.  I
am sorry
if I am not doing well with tolerating her. She just won t stop staring at me, constantly,
and& you won t even
look at me.
 You re punishing Jane because you re mad at me? I raised my eyebrow at him.  That s not
even
remotely fair!
 Life isn t fair, Alice! Peter looked at me intensely, his eyes glowing green.  If life were fair,
you
wouldn t be with Jack!
 No! You don t get to be mad at me for that! I shook my head.  You had your chance! I
wanted you
first, and you wouldn t have anything to do with me!
213
 I never had a chance! Peter insisted.  You always wanted him! I saw you in the hot tub with
him!
 What are you talking about?
 The night we met, you came up to my room, and I didn t want meet you. I didn t want to
want you,
but the instant I saw you&  He looked away from me.  Before even I saw you. I felt you as
soon as you
walked in the house, and it was overwhelming. I reacted poorly when we met, so Mae took
you away, and you
went out in the hot tub with her and Jack. I watched you when you weren t looking. You
were sitting with
him, laughing, and the way you looked at him& You ve never looked at me that way.
 How did I look at you? I asked thickly.
 Like you had to, like I was magnet and you were pulled to. There was no choice. That was
exactly
how it had felt, but I hadn t realized that he could see that.  And when you look at Jack, it s
because when
he s around, why would you want to look at anything else? You love him the way you could
never love me. I
swallowed hard, knowing that was true, and while that should have been comforting, it was
painful too. I felt
like I had hurt Peter without every giving him a chance.  But I love you in a way that he
never can.
 No, Peter, you don t love me, I shook my head and looked down at the floor.
 Alice, I am many things, but I m not naïve, Peter said breathlessly. His voice had changed
to
something I had never heard before, desperate and earnest, and I looked up at him.  I love
you, more than
I ve ever loved anyone, even Elise. As much as it kills me to do it, I can t stop.
 I can t be with you. My voice quavered and I felt tears swimming in my eyes. His eyes
were so
beautiful and pleading. Part of me really wanted to be with him, but I could never hurt Jack
again. I refused
to. And Peter was right. Despite anything that I might feel for him, I still loved Jack more.
 I would never ask you to, Peter whispered, still looking at me.
 But you would love it if I offered, I smiled sadly at him.
 Yes. I would. He stared at me a moment longer, then exhaled shakily.  But you can t. He
finally
lowered his gaze and ran his hand through his hair.  I can t do this anymore, either. I
suppose I should start
packing up my things.
 No, you don t have to go. I reached my hand out, meaning to touch his arm and comfort
him, but I
realized how dangerous just touching him would be, so I dropped it.  This is your home. We
have no right to
keep kicking you out of here.
 What do you mean? Peter gave me a very perplexed look.
214
 Jack and I are moving out. You can stay here, I smiled, trying to be hopeful, but his
expression
changed to one of dismal understanding. I had expected this to be at least kind of good
news, but he didn t
take it that way.
 Of course. Jack couldn t possibly stand the idea of us living together, Peter looked at
Jack s room,
our room, with jealousy and disgust.  This had already been planned. You re going to run
away and live
happily ever after, and I will stay here. With them. Forever.
 It s not meant to be a punishment! I said, surprised that I was somehow hurting him even
when I
meant to be helping him.
 Neither is my existence, and yet, it is. He shook his head and took a step toward the stairs.
 I should
go. We shouldn t even be talking. If Jack caught us, that would be disastrous, and I don t
want to put a
damper on your honeymoon.
 Peter! I shouted, but he just kept walking. Once he was gone, I sighed and muttered,
 We re not
even on a honeymoon. I stood in the hall for a moment, trying to catch my breath and clear
my head.
 So&  Milo poked his head out of his room and smiled sheepishly at me. I blushed,
forgetting that he [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]