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gone to bed. She learned also that Nick never allowed himself to be vulnerable in any way. He preferred
to stay in complete control of himself and his environment. He considered it unmanly for someone not to
be able to hold his liquor she had yet to see him drink to excess. Even sleep seemed to be a luxury he
did not like to indulge in too often, as if he could not afford to relax into unguarded slumber. In fact,
according to Sophia, Nick had never even allowed physical injuries to hamper him he stubbornly
refused to yield to pain or weakness.
 Why? Lottie had asked Sophia in genuine bewilderment, as they went for dress fittings and waited for
the gowns to be brought out.  What does he fear, that he cannot allow himself to be unprotected for one
moment?
For a moment, Nick s older sister had stared at her with an obvious longing to reply. Her deep blue
eyes were filled with sadness.  I hope that someday he will confide in you, she said softly.  It is a great
burden to bear alone. I am certain that he fears your reaction, once you are told.
 Told what? Lottie persisted, but to her frustration, Sophia would not answer.
Some great fearful secret. Lottie could not fathom what it might be. She could only suppose that he had
killed someone, perhaps in a fury that was the worst thing she could think of. She knew that he had
committed crimes in his past, that he had done things that would probably horrify her. He was so guarded
and self-possessed that it seemed she would never come to know him fully.
In other ways, however, Nick was an unexpectedly tender and generous husband. He coaxed her to tell
him all the rules that had been drilled into her at school, and then he proceeded to make her break every
single one of them. There were nights when he launched a gentle assault on her modesty, undressing her
in the lamplight and making her watch as he kissed her from head to toe& and others when he made love
to her in exotic ways that shamed and excited her beyond bearing. He could arouse her with a single
glance, a brief caress, a soft word whispered in her ear. It seemed to Lottie that entire days passed in a
haze of sexual desire, her awareness of him simmering beneath everything they did.
After the crates of books she had ordered arrived, she read to Nick in the evenings, as she sat in bed
and he lounged beside her. Sometimes while he listened, Nick would pull her legs into his lap and
massage her feet, running his thumbs along her instep and playing gently with her toes. Whenever Lottie
paused in her reading, she always found his gaze fastened securely on her. He never seemed to tire of
staring at her& as if he were trying to uncover some mystery that was hidden in her eyes.
One evening he taught her to play cards, claiming sexual liberties as forfeits each time she lost. They
ended up on the carpeted floor in a tangle of limbs and clothing, while Lottie breathlessly accused him of
cheating. He only grinned in reply, thrusting his head beneath her skirts until the issue was entirely
forgotten.
Nick was an exciting companion a fascinating storyteller, a superb dancer, a skilled lover. He was
playful but not at all boyish, never quite losing the seasoned look that proclaimed he had seen and done
enough to last several lifetimes. He escorted Lottie around London with an energy that far eclipsed her
own, seeming to know and be known by practically everyone. More than once, at a subscription dance,
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or a private party, or even walking through the park, Lottie could not help but be aware of the attention
he attracted. Nick was regarded as either a hero or a devil, depending on one s view, and everyone
wanted to be seen with him regardless. Innumerable men came to shake his hand, and to seek his
opinions on various matters. Women, on the other hand, trembled and giggled and flirted shamelessly
with him, even in Lottie s presence. Lottie witnessed such overtures with surprised disgruntlement, [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]