[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
conventional and recognisably Christian in inspiration. However, as
Grandfather has tuned in more and more accurately to what God is saying, the
afterlife, in the shape of the all-absorbing Godhead, has become more
complicated and more sophisticated. Indeed it might almost be more true to
say that what we live in is the pre-life; a sort of minor overture to the
grandly symphonic opera that follows; a scrawny solo before the richly
glorious massed choir. Most religions have some sort of angle on the truth in
this regard, but I think it obvious that
Luskentyrianism, with elements of almost all of them, decisively out-does the
lot.
*
I did not enjoy my flight from London to Edinburgh, which was the first I had
ever made. For one thing, I
did not feel well, and the various movements and changes of pressure involved
in flight seemed almost designed to introduce a reeling of discomfort even
without the effects of far too much alcohol the night
file:///F|/rah/Iain%20Banks/Banks,%20Iain%20-%20Whit.html (144 of 300)
[5/21/03 1:55:47 AM]
all before. In addition, though, there are various mistakes and errors of
practice and etiquette one can make when travelling by aircraft, and I think I
made all of them.
Grandmother Yolanda found my gaffs most amusing; the business-suited fellow
sitting to my other side was less impressed. My first mistake was to tell him
- in a spirit of vigilant and caring friendliness and general camaraderie - to
study his safety instructions when the conductress told him to; he looked at
me as if I was quite mad. My final mistake - on the plane itself, anyway -
was a result of trying to show off
(how often is that the case!).
The cup of tea I asked for after my miniaturised meal was a little hot, and
I'd noticed that above each seat was a small swivelling nozzle which dispensed
cold air. I decided to redeem myself in the eyes of the businessman at my
side by using the stream of air to lower the temperature of my tea. This was
a fine idea in theory and would undoubtably have worked perfectly well if I
hadn't ostentatiously held my cup right up to the nozzle and twisted it fully
on, producing a fierce and highly directed pulse of air which displaced the
tea in the cup and showered it over the businessman and the person in the seat
behind him. Yolanda found the whole episode quite hilarious, and even stopped
complaining about the lack of
First Class for a few moments.
Yolanda's good mood evaporated rapidly when we got to Edinburgh Airport and
she couldn't remember where she'd left her hire car.
'Thought it'd be quicker just leaving it here instead of turning it in and
having to hire another one,' she said, stamping down another row of cars.
I followed, pushing a trolley. 'What sort of car was it?' I asked. Not that
it would make much difference to me; cars are cars.
'Don't know,' Yolanda said. 'Small. Well, smallish.'
'Doesn't the car key tell you something?'
'I left the keys inside the exhaust pipe,' she said, with a hint of
embarrassment. 'Saves carrying zillions of keys around.'
I'd noticed that some cars had stickers in the back window identifying hire
companies.
'Can you remember what company it belonged to?'
'No.'
'They've got these letters on posts all over the car park; was it near- ?'
file:///F|/rah/Iain%20Banks/Banks,%20Iain%20-%20Whit.html (145 of 300)
[5/21/03 1:55:47 AM]
Page 114
ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html
all
'Can't remember. I was in a hurry.'
'What colour was the car?'
'Red. No; blue& . Shit.' Yolanda looked frustrated.
'Can you remember what cars it was parked between?'
'Get real, Isis.'
'Oh. Yes, I suppose they might have moved. But maybe they're still here!'
'Range Rover. One was a Range Rover. One of those tall things.'
We checked all the Range Rovers in the car park before Yolanda thought to
check her credit card slips. There was no sign of a car hire from Glasgow
Airport.
'Probably left it in the car,' she admitted. '& Oh, the hell with this. Let's
hire another one.'
'What about the one that's here?'
'Fuck it. They'll find it eventually.'
'Won't you get charged?'
'Let them sue. That's what lawyers are for.'
*
If our Faith had a Golden Age it was probably between the years 1955 to 1979;
that was when our Order grew from just a few people, many of them related in
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]