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dampness of the stone.
God help him, where did he now stand? What had he done today, in the furtherance of
his own perhaps misguided judgment? Was he going to be able to live with what he had
wrought, in the days and months and years ahead?
What about Cinhil, for example? Camber had told him that an infinitely compassionate
God would not hold his loving disobedience against him but suppose Camber was wrong?
By reassuring Cinhil, perhaps Camber was plunging the already foundering king into even
deeper disfavor with a God who was also infinitely just.
And while he was on the subject of justice, what would a just God have to say, in the final
reckoning, to a man who was allowing His Church to be led astray and call holy one who
knew himself not to be as he appeared, whose entire present existence was based upon a
grand deception?
Was he wrong to let the charade continue? Had he now involved God's honor? Had he
really been motivated by the betterment of the kingdom, or was he a victim of his own
pride, seduced by the arrogant belief that his guidance, and no other, could save the
kingdom and the king?
And yet, his original justification still seemed solid. Without Cinhil, coolly plucked from
his monastic life and forced to assume his destined role as king, Gwynedd would probably
still lie under the cruel and negligent rule of Imre of Festil. And without the continuing
temperance of Alister Cullen, whoever the guiding mind behind the external façade, Cinhil
would have been expending far too much energy in sullen resentment of the man who had
placed him where he still did not wish to be.
Now Cinhil was beginning to function as a king should function, especially as he found
his own personal stride within the framework of the part he had been dealt. Already,
awesome gains had been made in the governance of Gwynedd, not to mention the
expansion in size and alliances. If Camber had not done what he had done, where would
Cinhil be today? Where might Gwynedd be tomorrow?
The opening of the chapel door intruded on his inner dialogue at that. His first thought
was to wonder whether someone had sought and found him, or if it was simply someone
else looking for a quiet retreat, who had also known that this chapel was not often used at
this hour.
He did not move as footsteps entered and paused on the landing, hoping that whoever it
was would have the good sense to go away and leave him in peace, seeing his attitude of
prostration and realizing that he did not wish to be disturbed.
But the intruder did not move from the top of the landing. Camber could hear him
breathing lightly, caught the hollow scrape of boot on stone as the watcher shifted weight
minutely. The total absence of any psychic impression told him that the intruder was
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Deryni, too, his mind carefully shielded from any intrusion. The door closed, but the
footsteps had not moved back through the doorway first.
With a sigh, Camber raised his head and got stiffly to his knees, the cold which had
permeated him suddenly achingly apparent. His hood fell back from his head as he turned
to look up.
Jebediah stood there on the landing above him, handsome face turned to a grim mask by
the light of the torch he held, white sword belt gleaming against the dark of the rest of his
raiment.
"I thought I might find you here," he said in a low voice.
Camber felt a shiver of apprehension ascend his spine, a chill unconnected with the
tomb-coldness of the room itself. Why had Jebediah sought him out, and why so grave of
mien? Could the grand master possibly suspect that Alister Cullen was not all he seemed?
Had Camber made some fatal error in council this afternoon?
No, that was paranoia slipping into his thinking. As serious as the possibility of suspicion
was the probability that Jebediah had finally decided to press him for the reasons for their
decreased personal relationship in the past year. While that could prove distinctly
awkward, it was far preferable to suspicions of Allister himself.
Camber got clumsily to his feet, giving Jebediah an open, welcoming smile. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]