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and Lorri remain quiet, just watching, absorbing. I'm sure that once they get past their initial shock, they'll
be all over me. I may not even be able to get rid of them. Not that I'd want to. Not in a million years.
Whatever happens here now, tonight, tomorrow, next week, next year, I will not cut down the whole
family tree because of a few bad apples. I make this vow in my head and smear it with the blood of my
soul because I will not break it, no matter what Mom and Beth do, no matter what Zella says over the
phone. Those are the three members of my family that I'm afraid might be the poisoned apple to my Snow
White. I've got to be careful, oh so fucking careful.
Beth should be home any minute. God, she's going to freak the fuck out when she sees you, Never.
When you called, you should've seen her face. She was white as a sheet. I thought she might've seen a
ghost. India heads to the fridge and pulls out some juice which she pours carefully into cups for Maple
and Darla. I look around, wanting to help her but not feeling at home enough to touch anything. I might've
grown up here, but I feel like a fucking stranger off the street. I glance over at Ty and am surprised that he
looks relaxed and comfortable, not at all like this is weird for him. And it should be. It really should be.
After all, this isn't his family, it's mine, and I'm & what to him? A friend? A sponsor? A girl he made love
to? A girlfriend? No, can't be. Guys like Ty McCabe don't have girlfriends. They have fuck buddies
and one night stands and & I stop myself and try to take a deep breath. Ty has changed; I have changed,
and things are not always what they seem. He told me he loved me. How many girls he's said that to, I
don't know, but I don't think it's many.
Can I help with anything? I ask finally as India pulls some rolls out of a plastic bag, throws them on a
plate and sticks them in the microwave.
Nah, she says, still smiling, still doing other people's chores with a smile on her face. You're a
guest. Sit down. It's alright, I got it. She pauses and glances over her shoulder at me. Mom's supposed to
be home soon with some of those rotisserie chickens from the store, you know, the precooked ones? I
really have no idea what she's talking about, so I shrug and sit down in the chair next to Ty. As soon as he
gets the chance, he takes my hand and rubs his thumb over my knuckles, light, soothing, swoon worthy. I
look down at it and then back up at him. I'm not used to this kind of stuff. I don't know how to have a
boyfriend, a companion, even a friend. But I notice I don't pull away. I can't. I don't want to. I just want a
fucking cigarette.
So Mom's dating? I ask, trying to fish for information, but before India can answer, Jade walks in
with the skankiest fucking dress I have seen on a girl, myself included. It's zebra print and oh so short with
fishnet tights and a pair of leather high heeled boots. My eyes immediately snap over to Ty which is so
dumb because really, would he check out my sister? He looks, but he doesn't think she looks very good. I
can see in his eyes that he actually feels sorry for her. Did he feel sorry for me that first night he saw me
in my skintight, red dress? But no & His eyes swept me like I was a midnight snack, and he did hit on me,
until I refused to go dancing with him. I wonder briefly what might've happened if I had. Would things
have worked out as well? Would they be the same? I shake my head of what-ifs, and pull myself back to
the present.
Um, I'm glad you're here, she says as she slowly lets her eyes shift over to Ty's face, his body, his &
I clear my throat and she looks back up at me.
You're not going out, are you? Lettie asks, voice desperate. I can tell from her panicked face that this
is something that's happened before. Jade shrugs and puts her hands on her lower back as she tries not to
look awkward in her too tall boots. But Never's home! Lettie shouts, getting real angry, real fast. You
can't go now!
Go where? I ask, suddenly feeling protective of the little sister I left behind. The one that hates me,
my mind whispers. I ignore it.
Just to a club, Jade says softly, voice barely a whisper. Maple starts to cry, and India's forced to pick
her up and bounce her around on her hip. I like to dance.
Last I left, the only club in town was the Naughty Bunny, Jade. That's a fucking strip club. Jade's
nostrils flare with anger and her eyes flash. I watch as her hands curl into fists and all of that repressed
anger and hatred, it all comes pouring out of her and straight at me. I always knew, still know, that it's not
all my fault, but Jade has relegated me to her emotional punching bag. Being gone didn't change that. She
still hates me.
Like you fucking care, Never. You ran out on us, so don't try and act like a big sister now, babe. That
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